I am so playing this game at my 50th! I know I am planning a little early, but I may not even remember my Birthday by the age of 50, much less this game!
Ode to oxymetazoline
11 years ago
Monday, February 22, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Daddy's Little Boy
Just wanted you all to see my Redneck Baby! As long as I can talk Allan out of his camo and carharts, before he turns 5, I think we will be okay. He does look kind of cute for right now.
The Fight
What did married couples fight about in the olden days, before they could fight over which TV show they were going to watch? Last night Allan and I had a blowout! You would have thought one of us killed the other one's Mother. Let me paint the picture for you.... and of course you are gonna be on my side when this is all said and done with!
I got home from work, did a little straightening up, sat on the couch, and turned on American Idol. (My fave show, which I had DVRed)
About 5 minutes into my show, Allan gets home with the baby. I jump up to go get Peyton and play with him for a minute. I came back from changing his diaper, and much to my dismay, Allan had changed the channel to one of his dumb police shows. You know the really interesting shows where the cops are trying to find the murder for the ENTIRE show!
So, here is how the conversation went.....
E: Hey! I was watching American Idol
A: It was over
E: No it wasn't. I had just turned it on before you came home.
A: I know, and it was over
E: NO.... ITTTTTTT..... WASN'T!!!!!!
A: You already watched the whole thing
E: How would you know? You just got here. Why would I want to watch it, if I already saw it? Do you think I want to watch it twice?
A: It was over and you already saw it.
So, I am thinking in my head... is he serious... I mean, why would he think I was lying about watching a TV show!? This is the dumbest fight ever. But, keep it up buddy b/c I am GONNA win!
E: You have got to be kidding me! I only got to see like 5 minutes of it.
A: BULL!!
So... I did the only logical thing that a woman would do in this situation.... I slapped him and said....
E: Just turn the TV off then.
He pushed the 'off' button with all his might, threw the remote down, and said....
A: What the Hell is wrong with you!?
At this point, my best weapon is silence! But, I was thinking..... what just happened here, while kind of laughing in my head.
From that point forward, until Allan went to bed, everything that he did was in anger. He even fixed the baby a bottle by slamming things around in the kitchen for about 10 minutes. All the while, I am just calmly folding laundry in the living room. We haven't spoken since.
I got home from work, did a little straightening up, sat on the couch, and turned on American Idol. (My fave show, which I had DVRed)
About 5 minutes into my show, Allan gets home with the baby. I jump up to go get Peyton and play with him for a minute. I came back from changing his diaper, and much to my dismay, Allan had changed the channel to one of his dumb police shows. You know the really interesting shows where the cops are trying to find the murder for the ENTIRE show!
So, here is how the conversation went.....
E: Hey! I was watching American Idol
A: It was over
E: No it wasn't. I had just turned it on before you came home.
A: I know, and it was over
E: NO.... ITTTTTTT..... WASN'T!!!!!!
A: You already watched the whole thing
E: How would you know? You just got here. Why would I want to watch it, if I already saw it? Do you think I want to watch it twice?
A: It was over and you already saw it.
So, I am thinking in my head... is he serious... I mean, why would he think I was lying about watching a TV show!? This is the dumbest fight ever. But, keep it up buddy b/c I am GONNA win!
E: You have got to be kidding me! I only got to see like 5 minutes of it.
A: BULL!!
So... I did the only logical thing that a woman would do in this situation.... I slapped him and said....
E: Just turn the TV off then.
He pushed the 'off' button with all his might, threw the remote down, and said....
A: What the Hell is wrong with you!?
At this point, my best weapon is silence! But, I was thinking..... what just happened here, while kind of laughing in my head.
From that point forward, until Allan went to bed, everything that he did was in anger. He even fixed the baby a bottle by slamming things around in the kitchen for about 10 minutes. All the while, I am just calmly folding laundry in the living room. We haven't spoken since.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Adieu Tigers
Well, they let us down again! Peyton, I am sorry that you had to endure such a heartbreak during your first College Football Season. Look how upset he is!
Meet Duke
This is Duke. He is a Great Dane that belongs to a family that Allan delivers firewood to each year. Isn't he beautiful? Allan brings me with him to deliver to the family each year because he knows how much I love this dog. This year Duke's Mom and Dad asked us to go back to the house and get Huck to bring him over and play with Duke. I was so excited. Huck had never been around another dog this big, let alone a Great Dane. I couldn't wait to see what happened. Below, is a picture of the two of them playing together. Really all that happened was Huck jumping on top of Duke to show him that he was the boss. Duke is a little bigger than Huck, so I think that Huck felt like he had to prove himself. They did run around a little and gallop up and down the stairs to the deck. It was like watching two small horses playing. The whole deck was shaking under our feet. It was a lot of fun getting them together and I hope to do it again soon!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Beer Bath
One of these things just doesn't belong here.......
Please pardon the 70's bathroom tile and the lovely 90's feathering of the walls, and focus your attention on the far left of the picture. I have highlighted the object, just in case this is something that any of you are used to seeing in your shower. I got in the shower this morning, reached for the shampoo and what, to my surprise, did I find.... why nothing other than a Bud Light in a hugger right up on the towel rack with my bath products! Now, how did this get there, you ask? Well, there are a number of ways that it could have gotten there. But, I bet you will never guess the actual way that a beer ended up in my shower. This may be appropriate, say... if you were on vacation at the beach, completely hammered and really needed a shower. But, under any other normal circumstances, you will find that the only way that this could ever happen is in the following steps:
1. Allan was drinking a beer while watching TV
2. The baby come home from spending the day with Allan's Mother
3. Allan hides the beer in the couch cushions because his Mother does not approve of the beer
4. Allan decides the baby needs a bath
5. Allan would like to drink his beer while bathing the baby (?????!!!! Don't ask me why or blame his unsafe habits on me!) I have to believe that Allan was not BBWI (baby bathing while intoxicated.
6. Allan places his beer on the towel rack for safe keeping
7. Allan finishes Peyton's bath
8. Allan takes Peyton into the nursery to dress him
9. Allan forgets about his beer, for a little while
10. Allan searches for his beer all over the house and gives up after 3 or 4 minutes
11. Allan gets another beer, sits on the couch and proceeds to watch TV
That is how it happened. I have not asked him yet, but I can almost guarantee this is how it happened. I left it there for him this morning. I hope he drank it while he showered this morning. I hate for a good beer to go to waste.
Please pardon the 70's bathroom tile and the lovely 90's feathering of the walls, and focus your attention on the far left of the picture. I have highlighted the object, just in case this is something that any of you are used to seeing in your shower. I got in the shower this morning, reached for the shampoo and what, to my surprise, did I find.... why nothing other than a Bud Light in a hugger right up on the towel rack with my bath products! Now, how did this get there, you ask? Well, there are a number of ways that it could have gotten there. But, I bet you will never guess the actual way that a beer ended up in my shower. This may be appropriate, say... if you were on vacation at the beach, completely hammered and really needed a shower. But, under any other normal circumstances, you will find that the only way that this could ever happen is in the following steps:
1. Allan was drinking a beer while watching TV
2. The baby come home from spending the day with Allan's Mother
3. Allan hides the beer in the couch cushions because his Mother does not approve of the beer
4. Allan decides the baby needs a bath
5. Allan would like to drink his beer while bathing the baby (?????!!!! Don't ask me why or blame his unsafe habits on me!) I have to believe that Allan was not BBWI (baby bathing while intoxicated.
6. Allan places his beer on the towel rack for safe keeping
7. Allan finishes Peyton's bath
8. Allan takes Peyton into the nursery to dress him
9. Allan forgets about his beer, for a little while
10. Allan searches for his beer all over the house and gives up after 3 or 4 minutes
11. Allan gets another beer, sits on the couch and proceeds to watch TV
That is how it happened. I have not asked him yet, but I can almost guarantee this is how it happened. I left it there for him this morning. I hope he drank it while he showered this morning. I hate for a good beer to go to waste.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Minivan Mom
So, I have been back at work now for a couple of weeks and am having a really hard time not being at home with Peyton. I just miss him so much! I leave at 7:20 every morning when he is still sleeping and don't lay my eyes on him until around 7:00 or later each night. But, I do have hope that eventually one day when Allan's "rich Uncle gets out of the poor house" I will be one of those Minivan Moms who does nothing but drive her kids from one practice to the next. (I would say "Soccer Mom", but Allan and I hate Soccer! We have a theory that the media is brainwashing American kids by leading them to believe that Soccer is the only sport they should be playing. No, really! Just start watching and listening to commercials, cartoons, and other advertisements. You will see what we are talking about. They never mention Football or Baseball anymore.... just stupid Soccer!) Back to my Minivan, the picture that I have added is the one that I would definitely have to get! It totally fits my newly found redneck lifestyle. The kids would have so much fun in this and would be the envy of all of their little rat-tailed friends. There are no seat belts, only strips of a Confederate Flag to tie around the bottom of the seat and wrap around your waist. Some of the van's features are; a built in (nailed to the center console) 10" TV with bunny ears, truck nuts, and spinners are optional. The van is on sale on Craig's List for $250 or 10 cases of Copenhagen (I will have to ask Allan which one is the better deal). Sure, it may not be the safest vehicle in the world, but what is a little danger when there is so much style involved!? Feedback please!
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