The Handicapped Stall

Allan and I went on an adventure this past Friday. We drove all of the way to Slidell, LA. to get a check cashed. This was the closest Chase bank that we could find and our local bank wanted to hold the check for 7 to 10 days for some ungodly reason. Once we got the check cashed, which was practically a miracle once it was said and done with, we were starving. We headed back in the direction of Mobile and ended up at the Hollywood Casino in Bay St. Louis (which turns out was totally out of the way) to stand in a line for an hour just to eat Snow Crab until our eyes popped out. We definitely got our money's worth, at least until we got home and it all went down the toilet, if you get my drift. I, being 9 months preggo, needed to use the little girl's room before we left the casino. Of course all of the stalls were full, but one.... dundundun.... the handicapped stall. Well, I thought to myself, "maybe I should wait for another stall to come available, but then again, my current situation is kind of a handicapped one". So, in I walked, set down my wallet and phone on the diaper changer, and proceeded to accomplishing what I had gone there for. Just as I was trying to finish up, of course the one time in my life that I had second thoughts about entering the HC stall.... (enter old lady with a walker, a mean disposition, and the need for a toilet).....

OL (old lady): Every time I come in here there is someone in that Damn Handicapped stall! I see feet under there! Hello? (bang, bang, bang) Is there someone in there?

Me: Yes, ma'am. I am so sorry, all of the other stalls were full.

OL: Yeah, Yeah.

Me: I am almost done. It's just that the toilet paper is stuck and I can't get any to come out at all. (It really was! I had my hand all of the way up in the dispenser and at the same time was praying that it wouldn't get stuck up there. Panic struck. I just knew this lady was about to go seek out the Manager.)

OL: Oh, great! Well, I guess while I am waiting for YOU, I will get some toilet paper from one of these EMPTY stalls. (By this time everyone but a couple of people had cleared out.)

Me: Oh, here it comes, I got it. (Victory, thank you Jesus!)

OL: Oh good, so are you almost done in there?

Me: Yes, ma'am. Here I come now.
I then came out and held the stall door open for her. She was a witch of a woman and it didn't help that she probably arrived at the casino on one of those charter buses full of old people.
Next thing I knew, I heard my named being yelled from the other side of the bathroom by a stranger.

Me: Yes, that's me, I am Elissa.

Stranger: Your Husband is out there looking for you. He says that he has been waiting for a while.
Great, Allan! Thanks a lot. Now everyone in there thinks that I have been playing a different kind of Craps this whole time.

Me: Okay, thanks.
I rush out the door.

Allan: (rolling his eyes) Where in the Hell have you been?

Me: Where does it look like I have been? In the bathroom!

Allan: What took so long, I have been waiting out here forever. I got worried and started to think that you had gone wondering off without me. Where is your stuff?

Me: Oh no! I left it in that stall.... with the old lady... oh no. That means I have to go back in there and talk to her again.

Allan: What? Just go get your stuff.
So, I walk back in the bathroom and say politely...

Me: Ma'am, I left my wallet and phone on the diaper changer in there. Would you hand them to me?

OL: Are you kidding? I can't reach that. You will just have to wait like I waited on YOU!

About 5 minutes later, out comes the old crotchety lady and I run in after her to get my stuff. Man, did she ever stink up that stall! Yuck!
Needless to say, I will think twice about using a HC stall next time, especially in a casino. What a disaster that turned out to be. And, I hope I don't see that old lady in an abandoned parking lot anytime soon. I am not opposed to hitting an old person.... with my car.